Janna Holterman 0:00
Welcome back to Unlocking Your More with Janna Holterman. Let's get into it today. We're gonna be talking about trusting yourself. This is something that has been literally like years in the process of creating this deeper relationship with myself and really learning how to trust myself at a level that has stopped me being like a complete toxic bitch to myself because I was incredibly, incredibly hard on myself, and a lot of that came from doubting and second guessing, and having these limiting beliefs that I was the problem, that I wasn't working hard enough, that I wasn't doing enough, that I wasn't far enough a long and all of these beliefs just ingrained in me that I was the problem, and that nothing I ever did was good enough, and if I'm walking around with these beliefs that I'm the problem, that I'm not what I'm doing is never good enough. It creates this inability for you to trust in yourself and trust in the decisions that you make, because if you're focusing on how you are the problem, you're focusing how on how you're not doing anything that's enough, right? You're not working hard enough, you are not creating enough, you're not successful enough, you are not motivated or doing enough, right? All that does is create this cycle of beating the crap at yourself, of feeling not enough, feeling not worthy, and so why on earth would you trust yourself if you feel that you're not enough, that if you feel that you're not worthy, if you, if nothing you ever do is good enough, if you're constantly the problem, like if that was somebody else, like you wouldn't trust them, right? And so this is what it is created in our lives, is this cycle of incredibly toxic behavior towards ourselves, and so a lot of people, and I was this way too, you know. Really, like, well, if I wasn't hard on myself, I wouldn't have created what I created. Yeah, sure, we can focus on how you beat yourself into getting to the position that you are now in. But how do you feel in that position. Do you feel fulfilled? Do you feel like you've made it? Do you feel that you have earned the right and are in this place of like pride and acceptance of what you've created, because we cannot, cannot beat ourselves into feeling better, and this is something that I learned the hard way, and I tried to beat myself into feeling better, I tried to beat myself into success, but when you have the job, when you have the house, when you have the car, when you have all of these things in, they're all in place, but you've built everything off of I'm not enough, I'm not worthy, I should be doing more, I should be further along, you, what you focus on, you're going to create more of, so if your brain is primed to find evidence to support what you believe, your brain is find evidence will find evidence to support how you are the problem, how you are not enough, how you aren't doing enough. And when your brain is primed and programmed to reinforce those belief systems, it is fucking impossible to feel fulfilled. It is impossible to feel good in the place that you are at, and this is something that I kind of deeply recognized, and I am still working through this, like I don't know what happened, but because of all of these deep-rooted belief systems, I stopped letting myself feel into life, and what I mean by that is, like, the joy of just like having fun and being in the present moment, and you know. Like the dancing in the rain kind of vibe, like I fucking like would not let myself have any of that, and I wouldn't let myself receive support because I told myself that I wasn't enough or wasn't worthy of it, and I had to work harder, I had to prove this, that I was capable of it, and so life stopped being fun for a period.
Janna Holterman 5:29
There it stopped, you know, being an enjoyable experience, and this is something that I have been deeply on a healing journey for when it comes to rewiring the brain, but also just like really developing this self trust for everything that I have been through happened for a reason, and here's the thing, we have higher selves, which is the version of us that is completely unencumbered by limiting belief systems, limitations, so us at our absolute highest potential capacity, we also have souls, and so each lifetime we have a soul that has chosen certain experiences, certain lessons, things that it wants to innately learn, and so in this life it could be to truly see your value to see how unique and special, and how what you create in this world. Nobody, nobody else does it like you, and nobody else contributes what you contribute in the way that you contribute it to the world, and the way that you contribute to the world is going to literally impact and help like hundreds of if not millions of people over your lifetime and that is so damn unique and special to you in the way that you're going to do it right so if you didn't learn what you were here to learn if you didn't learn to see your own value and special and uniqueness, then you wouldn't impact all those people, but this is what our soul wants, and our higher selves are kind of on their own path to help us get to our potential, right, and so on this journey we cannot beat the ever loving shit out of ourselves, because then we don't see our potential. We don't develop this self trust. Why do we want self trust? We want to believe in ourselves. We want to trust ourselves because we want to reach our potential. We want to create lives that fill us with passion and purpose and fulfillment, and to actually lead life from that. What if it gets to be fun? What if it gets to be joyful? What if you know it just gets to be a good time, and this is really where things have started to take off in my life, and I kind of want to come at self trust from probably a different angle than you're expecting. I think there is so much inherent value with, you know, following through on you say you're going to do something in and following through on that, because what that does is it tells your brain, like, hey, yeah, like you said something, you followed through with it, fantastic, but there's so much deeperness, deeperness, that's my new word that comes from really getting clear on what your intentions are and what you actually want, and getting really clear on why you want those things, so one of the reasons that we struggle to have self trust, as you kind of got into, is all of these belief systems that are making it next to impossible, but we are inherently energetic beings, which means we are constantly picking up on other people's expectations and beliefs, and you know, especially if you go and you talk to loved ones, friends, family, coworkers, whatever, about whatever situation you're debating on, we have the words that they told us, but we also are picking up on their thoughts and beliefs, and those influence us and.
Janna Holterman 9:59
In my into an intuition fundamentals course, we were talking about this self trust, and one of the exercises was them actually intuiting for themselves, you know, how much of a certain decision were they making, were their beliefs their own, and how much were they actually externally influenced when they were making these decisions, and here's the crazy thing, most of them, including myself, when I've looked into this, like more than 50% of the beliefs that we are, we are thinking like the thoughts that are coming through our brain when we're making decisions are not our own, that means that we picked it up from somebody else, could have picked it up, you know, when we were kids, as just like, hey, when this situation happens, this is how I handle it, or it could have been from media and movies, all the magazines that we read when we were like 16 and impressionable, who knows, right, but more than half of the beliefs and the thoughts that are running through your head when you're trying to make a decision, aren't your own, and more than half, this is even more, most people, it was like 70 to 90% of your decision is influenced, influenced by external sources, so not only do we have all of these beliefs that are beating the crap out of ourselves, but because we have all these beliefs where we are beating the crap out of ourselves, our brains are like, well, I can't trust me, myself, right? Like, I can't trust the decisions that I make, I can't trust the ideas that come through, I need to use somebody else's path, I need to use somebody else's decisions, I need to figure out what everyone else would do in this situation, and then I got to do that, because we can't trust ourselves, because we've beaten the crap out of ourselves, and we told ourselves that we're the problem, and so if we're the problem, you don't, you don't want to trust the problem person, right? So the beliefs and the things and the reasons that we are making decisions are for other people, other people's beliefs, other people's decisions, other people's reasons for making decisions moving forward in life, and so we get into all of these situations and things that we're like, well, I don't really feel like I should have done that, like I probably shouldn't have done that, like I hated this experience, this was terrible, like would not, 10 of the 10 would not recommend, right, but here's the thing, our higher selves know us more deeply than we even know ourselves, because our higher selves can also see the reasons why we make the decisions that we do, and nothing, nothing you have done in the past was truly the wrong decision, and you can argue with me all day long, but here's the thing, if you completely fuck something up, like massively mess it up, like you've probably have something that you are still to this day beating yourself up over one thing that is for sure. If that thing went perfectly, would you have ever evaluated it right? If you are doing something right for me, building a business, so I want to launch a course, and I launch a course, and I have a goal of getting 10 people in a program. So I want to launch, I want 10 people in the program. Fantastic. I create my marketing, I post it, I have 10 people sign up, and I move forward none the wiser. Do I ever pause and go back and evaluate if I think that everything went perfectly according to plan? No, right? I don't. I don't go back and evaluate, because we're human and we're on to the next thing, and we're moving on with life, right, but what if I create that same program, I post my marketing, I wanted 10 people, I get one or zero. Most of us, because we're human and we have been conditioned to beat the crap out of ourselves and tell us that we're the problem and we're not doing enough, would be the crap out of ourselves, right? Like, and same, I would be the same, and even now I probably have to pause for a moment to kind of like check myself before I wreck myself.
Janna Holterman 14:29
And what happens is we evaluate, knowing what I know now, I'm gonna look and be like, okay, like, well, what went wrong? Oh, well, actually, the way I was communicating in my marketing people were super unclear on what I was actually selling. Well, they didn't know the benefit of it. Well, because they didn't know the benefit of it, they're not going to buy it, because if they don't get it, you don't buy something you don't understand. So I realized that, oh, I have to communicate what the value is a little more, because. Clearly, I have to communicate what results they're gonna get from buying this program. I need to, well, maybe I only did posts, but you know, people resonate more with the way I teach something, and so I didn't record any podcast episodes teaching about it. So now I need to go back and look at, okay, maybe if I record a podcast episode teaching this topic, you know, that will help people understand me and my style of teaching a little bit more, and they're gonna be more likely to buy that. So, the zero, or the one person that signed up for that program when I had 10 people, was actually the best fucking thing for that course, because I went back and I evaluated, and I looked at what I did well, what didn't I do well? How can I shift that? How do I make this more clear, more effective? How do I improve the marketing to make it so people know exactly? Yes, that is for me. I, you know, sign up right now. You're going to solve all my problems. And then when I go and I launch that course again, because I took the time to figure it out and evaluate and figure out how I could make this better, maybe my goal is 10 people again, but I have 50 sign up because I got so clear, I learned so much more about myself, I evaluated, I've improved, things got better, and this is so true for all areas of life, whether it be you trying to shoot the best basketball hoop, or build a course, or become the best leader, and step into a C-suite level role. If things go smoothly, we don't pause, we don't look back, we don't figure it out. If things go south, we can pause, we can evaluate, we can look at it, and we can figure out. Okay. Well, what? How was.. and this is a question that I asked myself all of the time. Now that has shifted and created this deeper trust with myself, because I can see that every single thing, every single thing in my past that never went the way that I wanted was actually the best fucking thing that could have ever happened to me, because it moved me closer to what I actually want when I actually evaluated it. When I paused, and this literally could be something that happened 10 years ago, but you could say, okay, what is the most important thing to me in my life right now? What is my highest value? You know, if in career area of life for me and my business, it's like, okay, I want to help people recognize and see themselves at their highest potential and develop deep levels of self trust, self love, self acceptance, and that's, you know, my highest value right now for when it comes to career. Okay, how was that course that I tried to launch, quote unquote, flopping the thing that was necessary, necessary? Why was that needed in order to get me to where I wanted to be? Well, if that didn't have happened, I wouldn't have evaluated, I wouldn't have been able to get clear on my marketing and figure out how to communicate in a way that people resonate with and understand. If that didn't happen, I wouldn't have had the bigger launch in the future, and those 50 people wouldn't have been able to learn the thing that I was going to teach them in that course.
Janna Holterman 18:17
So it was the most beneficial thing that could ever happen to me, and it was necessary for me to understand and learn something more deeply, and this is why I dive in to these things of the past, because I can go to it and see, wow, that wasn't a mistake, that that happened on purpose, right? Our higher self knows what we're going to do, our higher self knows the decisions that we're going to make, because they know all of the limiting beliefs and the things that we have. So our higher self knew we were going to make that decision, and there was a reason. There was a reason that we made that decision, and our human self would be like, yeah, that was a major fuck up. But our when we look at it from that higher self perspective, we can be like, oh, that was needed, that was necessary in order for me to have this awareness, to have this growth. And if you've never done this in the past, that's fine. You don't, this is you looking at it back now. What is that, that thing that haunts you over and over again? How was that absolutely necessary for you to move closer to your highest value. Look at it now, right? Like, what is the most important thing in your life overall, or in that, like, area of life that that thing is happening? Like, how is that fucking needed? Where you were like, "Oh shit, yeah, I never would have looked at it this way. And if that.. if I don't.. if I don't look at that, it this way, right now, in this moment, it's going to repeat this process, this pattern for me, and I'm never gonna grow and shift, right? So you can do it now. It this is not like you didn't snooze, you lose, you could literally go back and look at it, and this is the craziest thing from the intuition program. We were looking at this, like, how much people were beating themselves. Up over this decision before and after, just going through the process now, even if this was a decision that happened years ago, literally like 5060 70% improvement in the level that they're beating themselves up just from going through this now and finding out how this was absolutely necessary. This will fucking change your life, and it will stop this beating the shit out of yourself cycle that most of us are in, right? Like, this is huge. So take this time to go back from the things that have happened in the past and look at them and see how they were absolutely necessary, and this is going to develop a higher level of trust that the decisions that you have made were actually the most beneficial thing for you, and when you can see how that lines up, you're going to start trusting yourself more, and even knowing, like, hey, moving forward into this future, if I make the wrong decision, that's all right. That's because I know that either way I can look at this and really see how this is moving me closer to my highest value, but it takes looking at it and saying, okay, what did I get out of this? How was this necessary? How was this beneficial? How can I see that this was everything that I needed in this moment, in that moment, to get me closer and closer to my highest values, to my goals in my life overall.
