Janna Holterman 03:48
Welcome back to Unlocking Your More with Janna Holterman. Today is a fun, exciting episode because I have Brenna here with me. We actually did our intuition training together, so we have practiced a lot, and she's helped me in a lot of reads and vice versa. So, why don't you just kind of do a quick intro for yourself before we jump in?
Brenna Ruiz 04:26
Yes. So, hi, I'm Brenna Ruiz. Like Janna said, I am a intuitive, highly trained intuitive. I'm a mom of two. I have a lot of like crazy certifications just on my way to learning how to heal myself, so I've definitely tried it all. I'm certified in NLP and clinical hypnotherapy. I'm a Reiki master, like you name it, I have tried it. So all on my journey to heal myself, and I'm sure we'll get to talking about that soon. But that's a little bit about me.
Janna Holterman 05:02
Yeah, I feel like many of us, like high-achieving women, tend to do that. We're like looking for the next certification, the next course, the next thing that's going to, you know, make it all make sense. I know I'm here for a bigger purpose, so maybe this thing will be it. So, what are you still trying to like consume all this information, or did you come to a point where you're like, oh, maybe there's a different way?
Brenna Ruiz 05:32
Yeah, this is definitely it. I feel like the intuition world that I stumbled upon, and then with that, the self love and self image healing really is the most powerful, if you want to call it a modality, but it's the most powerful thing that I have found over six years of searching for resources and help, and how can I feel better, and how can I just show up as a better mom and wife and individual, and so the search has end. It has ended here, and this really is the work that I'm doing now. Wear mom's fur.
Janna Holterman 06:09
Okay, so what? What was it in like intuition? Really, like I my third
Brenna Ruiz 06:15
vacation that I did, and every training that I did, piece of what I'm doing now, but it never fully this age women's life does. Like even I'm also a certified life coach, of course, because same. And I also work coach those that I like. I sold with, but it wasn't until about year ago when I started this work where I'm like, "Well, into is the key of and self is the key because you can reach the root cause of if so how you are how your family hit crazy how people how you find zero root cause and that we are able to lower the veil and look at and then every emotional root cause is related to either self-love or self-image, so that's how those three things tie together. And then taking intuitive tools and connecting with a client or myself, depending on if I'm reading myself or a client, you can connect to that person's higher self and actually get them custom tools and a custom protocol directly from their higher self to heal and shift the emotional root cause that caused the problem in the first place, or the symptom in the first place, and that heals and shifts at the emotional root cause, which not only shifts and heals the symptom, so to speak, the reflection, but also improves your life in other ways too. So you're healing both the root cause area and you're healing areas up. So it's like getting massive life upgrades. Whereas other modalities, Reiki is to me Reiki is very much in the feminine because you can't tell Reiki exactly what it's going to do, right?
Janna Holterman 08:02
Okay.
Brenna Ruiz 08:03
When I look in, it is high free, but as high frequency as intuitive work, self image, self love work, which is directly guided by your higher self source. This is the source truth. So the other things can be helpful. Do they inform some of the things that I do? Yeah, being of neuroscience and all that. Definitely having a NP neurolinguistic programming certification definitely gave me a good foundation for that. But it is not anywhere to the degree of effective channel use in my mind at work that I'm doing now.
Janna Holterman 08:40
So, and I totally think that the actual root of everything of how to actually shift it, what the actual problem is, um, is just something incredible. But as I kind of said, like so many people are constantly looking outside of themselves for the answers, but ultimately the reason being, like, feel like they've like lost sight of themselves, and like you really focus and work on moms, and I think that happens so much with motherhood. It's just like everything in your life becomes about your child, and you for you lose your identity. But so many people also in careers, right? Whether they're building a business, and it could be like a soul aligned business, but it's just like they completely go ham and completely lose themselves. So, have you experienced that like before?
Brenna Ruiz 09:32
Have I experienced? Yes, that's literally my story on. Yeah. Um. So my story goes back six years ago when I had my first son Anthony, and that's exactly what fatherhood. I I experienced a wide range of difficulties in my from my birth experience with him to my postpartum to burnout to I mean, I could just list a few things quickly to for people to relate to, like not being able to breastfeed longer than two weeks, which was super traumatic. Postpartum insomnia, extreme burnout, lots of physical pain, postpartum pain during sex, postpartum. I mean, the list goes on. Undiagnosed postpartum anxiety. There was a whole shit ton of problems that I was facing, but definitely one of the main ones for sure was like throwing my entire identity into becoming his mom and losing sight of everything for myself. Yeah, and actually, part of my reclamation with that was I started blogging when he was about five months old because just to document my story of you know what do I do about postpartum anxiety, and then I went to therapy and did cognitive behavioral therapy and figured out tools to improve things, and then I was like, women need to know this stuff. No one is talking about this. There are barely any resources for moms. Nobody gives a fuck about moms. You have a baby that we're just completely sidelined, and so I started kind of documenting this and sharing the resources that I could find, interviewing women's health and wellness experts. So that's how it started for me, and it was really because then my therapy to get me through that time and to rediscover like so who am I now as a mom? Because of course everybody knows this consciously, but I've only turned around yourself and maybe your partner and your job, and then when you have kids, it really becomes like I have to keep this person alive. I have to figure out. It's like my sister said right after she had her son. This is cute. She said, "It's like it's your wife and color. It's like a whole dimension opening up of like time and ways that you identify, and it's-I don't know if I'm even doing it justice by this, but yes, it happened to me. And my platform at the time, it's-it's now my blog is now shut down, but it used to be called "What About Mamas" because it really was like that feeling of "What about me now? Like, and how can I find her? And how can I bring her back? And how can I nurture her and care for her? And I think now, six years later, I'm finally figuring out how to do that. A second kid, and I now have also a two-year-old. But it really was the self-image and the self-love healing that got me here in a way literally nothing else did in my six years of this journey so far.
Janna Holterman 12:47
Okay, so walk me through a little bit about like that stepping into what self love and self image like actually meant to you, and like how do you start making those shifts to start finding yourself again.
Brenna Ruiz 13:03
Yeah, absolutely. So self love is the ability to prioritize yourself and put yourself first. So self love is really challenging for moms when you have a tiny human being who is 100% dependent on you. They cannot do anything for themselves. So what moms tend to do is okay. I'm going to do everything for you, and if you're like me, you might even be like, even though I have help, I'm still going to be the only one doing anything for you. So there's a term for that. It's called maternal gatekeeping, and it's definitely tied to, I would say the postpartum anxiety for me it was this feeling of nobody can do this as good as I can. I'm the only one my son needs. You know my husband can't even give him a bath correctly, so I'm gonna do everything myself. And that's a really really common trap, and it's also something we're programmed towards as a society and as women and as moms, if you think about yeah, if you think about even the etiquette that we're trained as girls, it's like serving others before yourself. Yeah, make making somebody else a play before yourself. I mean, it goes down to literal etiquette, and so
Janna Holterman 14:22
wild, it
Brenna Ruiz 14:22
it is right, and it and it goes back to it's that thought contagion of you know it's impolite to put yourself first, but really it it goes back to the the phrase on the plane right you cannot you cannot help others without helping yourself first, so you got to put your air mask on before you can assist others. Which is why, when you do put yourself first, when you do prioritize yourself and increase your self love, you are caring for yourself, your needs, and your wants, and then you are turning around to your kids, to your family, to your coworkers, to your boss, to your clients, and saying like, now you get a better version of me that's more regulated, that's more grounded, that has more to give, that isn't so burned out, that isn't so exhausted, that isn't so fried, that isn't responding on a hairline trigger, that isn't flipping the fuck out to her family, yes, and and that's just one piece is the self the self love piece. But I really, really find, especially for moms, especially for women, but especially for moms, those self love levels are so so low because of the programming, because of the conditioning, but also partially just because there is very little guidance and support for moms in this transition into becoming a mom, which is has a name by the way. It's called matrescence. It's kind of like kind of like adolescence. There is a there is a becoming right of a woman into motherhood, and it is a transition that lasts like seven years. When it comes to your brain wiring, when it comes to your hormones, when it comes to your organs going back into place, and how your body looks and feels, and all of that stuff, it takes time. But of course, all you hear is like let's bounce back postpartum and like let's look exactly the same as we did before and all that. So that that's the self love piece. Yes, the self the self image piece is really how you feel about yourself, how you perceive what you perceive for yourself and what you think others perceive of you. So this is beliefs about yourself. This is limiting beliefs that you have about yourself. What you believe is possible for you, essentially, and it comes back to all of the programming again that we get even from a really young age, and it usually does go, you know, root back to that childhood beliefs that you created based on one little instance, and you told a story story to yourself about what is possible for you. So it could be things like I'm not capable of this, or I'm not good enough, or I'm not worthy, or all those stories that we tell ourselves that create limiting beliefs about what is possible for us, and that's kind of self-image in a nutshell. And then it also goes into your appearance and like how you feel about yourself and how you look, and it's all tied together in a really interesting way. And then self love and self image are tied together too because you really can't have one without the other. So they're like a perfect combination of, like I said, if you want to look better, feel better, have a better family dynamic, make more money, have a better career, be healthier, both of those things together need to be working really well together, and that's what we use our intuition to do. So a long answer, but it's a little bit complicated.
Janna Holterman 18:08
No, and I think it's it's really amazing because I am not a mother. Someday we will be. It's just so interesting because it's like I can see it, but also recognizing that like I had those same experiences in a different capacity, even just like with my job, and especially nursing. Right, like nursing nurses tend to be very like self sacrificial and putting their well being last for taking care of their patients in the job. And even if you have to like pee or eat food, you're like, oh, I'm just gonna wait a couple hours because I have you know people need me people and I think it's just so there's so many different places in our lives that this happens and then I feel like motherhood is just like that like the peak experience of like how you could literally be doing this in so many small ways of putting yourself last of not prioritizing yourself, and then this like you know full life transition that literally could take seven years, completely just amplifies that to such an extreme level. Okay, so whether people have already you know been mothers or you know maybe not there yet, when it comes to like I feel like self love you defined it great and self image you defined it great but like I think it's one of those things that people still are like I don't know where to start like it's just still just such an abstract thing so where does somebody even begin when they're like, I feel like I have completely lost sight of who I am, and I am. I can see that I'm putting myself last.
Brenna Ruiz 19:48
What now? It's a really good question, and my answer would be that is why I created the course that I created for current and future moms because it has all of that the practicals the how tos what to implement and the whole point for me was how can I make this not overwhelming for women who are already burned out and overwhelmed how can I make this sustainable how can I give them quick wins that actually will improve their lives so I would say the course is called she's fucking back but beyond that, for some quick wins, I think it's just looking at your life and saying, "Well, first of all, the awareness is the first thing, and it's probably the biggest hurdle. So when I I do these biweekly free or complimentary live webinars, and I'm always sharing on a different topic. And when I look in on things like what is causing somebody's problem, so let me give you an example. I just did a a workshop on getting people to treat you better, and what the emotional root cause is of people treating you poorly or shitty or being rude or mean or all those kind of things or not putting you first and things like that, and the emotional root cause of of somebody not putting you first or prioritizing you is essentially you not putting yourself first or prioritizing yourself. So here's the really interesting part. The interesting part is when I intuitively look in on the collective of all the people who showed up live for that, listened to it on the replay or the podcast that I have. The awareness that they had of how many times they were putting themselves last or not prioritizing themselves was like 14% Yeah. So that means what's the math? 86% of the time that they're doing it, they're not even aware of it. Yeah. So
Janna Holterman 21:52
I believe it. The
Brenna Ruiz 21:53
biggest problem, like number one, if you've identified that you're burned out, or you've identified the symptom that you've got one of these undesired things going on, you know. People, what was your initial thing?
Janna Holterman 22:08
Like not prioritizing yourself. You can see that you're putting yourself last, but like, where do you even begin?
Brenna Ruiz 22:14
Okay, so if you can even acknowledge that and see that consciously, you're already way ahead because maybe 6% percent of the times that you're doing it, you're not consciously aware of as a general rule. So our subconscious minds, this little neuroscience, our subconscious minds are basically running like 90-6% of our brains in what's going on. So we have these limiting beliefs and all those things holding us back, but they're just running on autopilot. So my first step is simply: how do we get more in conscious understanding and alignment of this quote-unquote mistake we're making? That's not our fault at all. It's not your fault. Getting more conscious awareness that it's happening in the first place is 100% the first step. So the metaphor that I always use is like, if you had 14% of a car, do you think you could get very far? No. But the more consciously aware you are of the problem, the more your brain is on on board with the fact of this is a problem. I need to find a solution to fix it, and then you can go to what the tools and solutions are of which Janna and I both have many for you. So if you're there, then come find us. But the first step to do is simply notice all the times throughout the day that you're putting yourself last. It's it could be serving a meal for your family and you make everybody a plate and then you sit down to eat and your toddler is like more I want water whatever the fuck they want and then you pop up and go get it and you haven't even taken a fucking bite yet and then all you do is notice and say up there it just popped up again without judgment. That's the biggest key because beating yourself up is a whole other total quote unquote unquote mistake. That's not your fault. That causes a whole other host of problems and symptoms in our life. But all you need to do is start becoming consciously aware and say, "Oh, there it popped up again. And the more you do that, the more you raise the conscious awareness. The more you can fix your car, and I always say, like, you could drive a car if it was 80% built, right? You probably don't need an air conditioning and you don't need a radio, but it's going to get you a whole lot further than the 14% built car. So even if you can do this for a week or a few days or a week and be like, "Wow, I do this so much, I had no idea, then that's when you are ready to do the deeper healing work and get the tools that are source aligned for how do I increase my self love? How do I start putting myself first? What can I actually do day to day to increase and shift this? And even I'll give one tool right now, though. So please first start with first start with increasing your awareness, and then another like here is a quick win that you can do. Let me let me see which tool to give. give, I'm gonna give the one that I am upgrading for myself right now. So I always tell women do something first for yourself every single morning before doing something for somebody else. And here's the crazy thing about these tools that come from Source: they sound so simple and easy. Your conscious mind and your ego is going to be like, "That's it. That's you know, that's nothing. Can't be. But what? 100% So most people will hear this tool and not even implement it. But on a energetic source level, there is so much more happening behind the scenes than we are aware of. So it might feel really easy and be like, "That's all I had to do. That's nothing. But just because something is simple does not mean it is not extremely fucking powerful and transformational. So do this tool every day for a week or two, and get back to me and tell me like what shifts you start noticing on how people start to prioritize you, put you first in any area of your life, and that can be as simple.
Brenna Ruiz 26:32
If if you're a mom, it can be as simple as can you take some deep breaths before you jump up and get the baby out of the crib? Can you? I mean, it can be just a couple of minutes, and then for me, I was doing that, and now my higher self came back and was like, "No, girl, you need 15 minutes of this. So I would say, if you have the time and the capacity, I still have two little kids. I still co-sleep with my little. Yet I just set a timer for a little bit earlier this morning. I got up before he did, and I took 15 minutes to do a quick body scan meditation. So it can be whatever you want, but it has to be something just for you. And you do it before you do anything else for anybody in your household. You do it every single day. You stay consistent. It's just part of the way that you are, the way that you be, and that is one of many, many tools that I have, but it is extremely powerful for increasing your self love.
Janna Holterman 27:29
Yeah, I'm glad you mentioned the whole like we want it to be complicated, right? We're like it has literally been decades in the creation of our problems in our life, so we're like the solution has to be some 80-seven step process that's extremely complicated, and I feel like 90% of the time it is something that is simple. Like it's not necessarily complicated, but it does take the repetition for our brains and our nervous systems and our emotions to get behind a new way of thinking and a new way of being.
Brenna Ruiz 28:04
100%
Janna Holterman 28:05
Okay, so you have awareness and you start to prioritize yourself. What would you say? You know, is something that people should be prioritizing next for like getting on this self love journey.
Brenna Ruiz 28:23
Hmm, something to prioritize next. The thing is, it really is so individual for each person because yes, we have our creator field. So quick recap. I'm sure you've heard your creator field is of your thoughts, your beliefs, and your actions, and it is creating your reality. It is radiating out to everybody, every situation, circumstance, and event in your life, and manifesting your life day to day, every single minute. So, the thing is, people can be depending on your soul contract, your attributes that were chosen by your soul and your higher self before you got to Earth, all those things you have different things already in your creator field. You have different ingredients we call them attributes. You have different soul lessons. So everyone's circumstances are usually very very different. You might have, you might be here to work on a self-image problem, and my biggest thing is my self-love or whatever it is. Yeah. So, if somebody is really ready to, this is what I say to my the moms, current and future moms in my world. I say, if you want to proactively, if you want to proactively increase your self love and your self image, that would be my motherhood core. So that's gonna improve every area of your in a group setting. If you want to, you have a either a goal that you're trying to attain, something that you want to accomplish, or a problem like a recurring thing that happens, like treating you a certain way or a better, or like something you fix or change. You do that in a one-on-one session because then we can go in and see what is the I'm running here consciously that she's not even aware of that is causing this limiting thing or preventing her from getting the thing that she in for you, or that I'm both, but I'm just going balls to my thing. I know that everybody, but that's kind of like how I have some things that are to be the most transformational for the women who take the course. Take you on a expense that makes. I wish I better answer for you. Oh, that's totally
Janna Holterman 30:34
fine.
Brenna Ruiz 30:35
That's specific for
Janna Holterman 30:37
willing to share. What has been your best shift when it comes to like self and self love.
Brenna Ruiz 30:45
So, one of my biggest lessons in this lifetime for sure is self love. Is why I had this spiritual awakening in the first after having my son. That's why I went through all of this like maternal gatekeeping and all of the anxiety, all of the putting myself last, and all of the burnout because I had to experience the lowest of the lows still, and experience the highest of the highs, and be able to heal things, and then turn around and help the women behind me who are still trying to figure it out. So that's why I went through, you know, this death by ever cut. Like, what else do you want to throw at me? It's all things that I can now help other women navigate because I've been through them. So, self love me is in this lifetime. I one of my best soul, and if any pastor kind of follows a long story, you'll hear about how my sleep for the past two years has been very reflective of my self love levels, and every time he, which Janna actually hit me with in the realm, but every time his sleep gets worse and he has a hard time falling asleep, wakes up in the middle of the night, has a term in middle of the night, wakes up at vaya, whatever that looks like, or all of the above, that's a sign to me. That's always points back to an upgrade on my self love, put myself first more, prioritize myself. Most recently, I just got the tool about I need 15 minutes for myself in the morning. Like I said, before I'm just gonna do some cool thing, and my higher self is like, no, girl, like we're getting serious about this, so
Janna Holterman 32:21
you gotta step the game up. Yep.
Brenna Ruiz 32:23
For for some reflections, I mean, shifted a reflection in minutes before. If it's just kind of a surface level reason, I've also been for over a year because there is are levels to it. If it's a really really full lesson, so that's why it's kind of keeps popping back up until I master my life. I'm still uncovering new levels of healing and new ways to put myself first as a mom, and in every but really interesting journey. And again, like the for me, the ends justify the means. So I have a harder life where I grow more and have more fulfillment and enrichment on all that I've healed than an easy life where I learn nothing. So it's been worth it to get those. Not sleeping is definitely a challenge, but head back to me to self love lessons for sure.
Janna Holterman 33:16
100% Thank you for sharing. I hate you also sharing like the timeline that this has taken and how like work has gone into it because I think so many times people were like I'm gonna work on prioritizing myself or I'm gonna go to the gym or I'm gonna do this thing and then we instantaneous results because that's what we've been conditioned to expect anymore. Times just be resistant and it's I will and stop. But I think like even just as if you be increasingly not necessarily where you want it to be. So, what would be your advice for that person who's okay? I've been working on it, and here it is coming. Like things are necessary.
Brenna Ruiz 33:52
Intention comes in because you can look. You, we looked into what level in the game am I on of of this reflection, and I think on that one it was like level seven out of 10 or something, so shows that there's an insight. We can also see the thing. So basically, something and things you need to stay because there was things the other day about how people we call tools something and then you're done with really what they are. I call them ways of being. Like this is a way of I'm giving this every single thing you do for a week and then you're done. This is who the you are. It's a habit. It becomes non-declarative. Just who you are. Thirsty, so I take water. It's I wake up and I put myself first. That is what of basically non-declarative mass needs is for you to really be creating the things in life that you want, and stop creating the things in life. It's really, really that understanding that consistency is what it takes. And and yeah, I imagine it could be very encouraging not to feel like anything is working. And I've been there before. Oh loes girl with not sleeping with my son. He fucking fell as he wouldn't sleep or sleep through the night without being latched onto my nipple for using basically the breast milk as pacifier and his sleep aid, and that was hard. It'd be millions easier. The intuitive tools to be like, "Nan here, what tools can I do to shift this? And like actually seeing results is through intuition. It wasn't through people take so much physical action, get the 90-8% or more accurate protocol, energetic and emotional protocol to hit all angles of problem instead of just like, oh, I didn't like a nightmare need dollars on that and hope that works, or need to learn how sustainably change this.
Janna Holterman 35:41
Yeah, no, absolutely. That's really amazing. It is so important to see that there's like number one, there can be an insight, and number two, there there is like a purpose to like whatever is happening. There is a purpose, and with that purpose comes a itemized solution of yes, you do these same things, and I think that's such an important reminder. Especially, I feel like the learning, intuition, and all these things. There were so many times where I don't understand. It's like, and it's like I can actually understand why this is happening. See how way, even if the current experience is so frustrating or annoying and uncomfortable.
Brenna Ruiz 36:21
100% 100%
Janna Holterman 36:22
Is there anything else you share?
Brenna Ruiz 36:26
Oh my gosh, to combine six years worth hard learned lessons, I think the the biggest thing that I would say is if you have a problem or something that is undesired in your reality. There is also, and I know that field is hard. Earth school is hard. It's not supposed to be that. We're like expecting that our life should be easy is where a lot of pain and suffering comes from because then it makes us great. The healing, the growth, the lessons, and how far you've seen amazing blessings. So that's one thing. But the other thing is, 100% of the time, if there's a problem, there is a solution. And if there's not a solution, there is a way that it can be navigated with more grace, ease, effortlessness. Like you said, a way to see what the lesson behind this is, a way to go through the heart and all this record. But all of that for me has been made possible by intuition and learning how to lower the veil and see what's going on and my soul contract and see why a quote unquote bad thing happened to me and why it was actually the best thing ever for me, and provided so much value and benefits. Not to spiritually to still feel like, wow, that was fucking hard, and feel that, and move through that. But then to be like, and I'm grateful it happened because the fact, like I said, the fact that I got by a truck in motherhood means now I can help 1000s of women navigate it more easily and be the person of women who I never had. So, so don't give up, and and just know that if you if you are ready to heal and you want to heal. The healing is available for you. And most people don't want to heal and they don't want solutions to their problems. So if you are like, if you're like me and you're like, I'm gonna try this and I'm gonna try this and I heard Reiki's good and I heard acupuncture is good and tapping and this. Like if you're out there trying everything, number one, like intuition and self love and self image, but but like kudos to you, and I'm celebrating you because people want to heal and they just want to be victims and let the world happen to them and be bitter and be upset and hate everything and that is like 86% of the population looking in. So if you are looking for ways to improve your life and heal and show up better for yourself and those in your life, like you are a really, really special soul, and you are here for this special thing it is to have this lifetime and learn all our lessons and and be here together.
Janna Holterman 39:21
Absolutely, I love that. Thank you. Okay, how do people find you? You kind of share a little bit about she's talking back in your motherhood program, but people find you
Brenna Ruiz 39:30
well over on social media. So I'm on Instagram, TikTok, and the handle is I am FM and you, and I have my podcast, which is the Intuitive Mom podcast. I mentioned that I do every other week. I have a complimentary live webinar top live questions. He's going to be coming back. I'm lying. There's a two-hour work, so that's mid-August. So that's a fun one. I also have one-on-one intuition sessions all the time. I work deeply, and then I also probably never will pre-program too. So you is kind of but most love to hear from you in chat. I'm always in the DMs over on Instagram and would definitely love to just say and hear from you.
Janna Holterman 40:14
Fantastic! And I will put your links and stuff in the show notes so people can access those. Well, thank you so much for being here. It was an honor, as always. Yeah,
Brenna Ruiz 40:25
thank you so much, Janna. Yeah, this my pleasure.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
