Janna Holterman 03:10
I am so excited to welcome Kate Starr. She is a certified nervous system regulation practitioner, a public health professional, and the founder of Aligned with Kate. So she helps high-achieving women overcome chronic stress, burnout, nervous system dysregulation through evidence-based somatic practices and nervous system education. Kate, welcome.
Kate Starr 04:20
Oh, that was such a good yeah! I loved that. Um, so glad to be here. Really excited to get to more.
Janna Holterman 04:25
Okay, so I mean, all of that sounds amazing, but I really feel like my audience is a lot of high achieving kind of type A women who feel like they have it all figured out until they realize the hard way that they're not where they want to be so. I feel like your story kind of has your own version of that. Would you be willing to kind of share how you landed yourself in that arena? Oh my god,
Kate Starr 04:50
absolutely! And it was not premature. Never. I I was a you know absolutely 100% type A. You know, defined myself by my resume. The first thing you know, I'm asking people is, "What do you do for work? And I grew up in Washington D.C. so it's common around this area that mentality of really life here for you to have the greatest impact, but within the confines of a very strict definition of what that impact has to mean, Right, you know, I grew up. She's still my best friend today, with a mom, primarily a single mother, and she was just the definition empowered and resilient, and you know had really moved herself through education, academia, and working in government at one point, and so she was an incredible role model for me, but somewhere along the way, I started to take on these ideas of perfectionism, of you know that you have to work so hard all the time to prove yourself and get validation from others, and I lived that for a while, and I did it very successfully in a couple different arenas: career, education, relationships, social. I mean, but it eventually started to catch up me because it's Evan that I speak to, and I would just say every woman living in a patriarchal capitalist society that is expected to do it all and never feel any type of way about it, right? So after having a you know a pretty fruitful career in international health, you know I started to see some signs. Started to see some signs of me feeling more disconnected in my life. I I had this belief that I was happy, that I was fine. Looking back, I see it was just a level of inability to feel much of anything, one way or the other, and assuming that meant all good, right? Yeah. And I never had education around that stuff. I was just seen as the poster child of what you're supposed to do, and that definitely caught up to me. You know, the story that I I tell often that sounds so dramatic, but I'll be was you know two days prior being out at a happy hour like networking event, seeming fine, whatever, taking pictures. Two days after that, being bedridden, taking a nearly year long summer genetical leave, everything suddenly caught up. Mental and emotional health, my physical health, and I consistently was asked, "What was the trigger? What happened? Right? There really wasn't. There wasn't some trigger, awful thing that happened. It just became an amalgamation of holding so much stress and unprocessed emotions around my past that the little pieces came together, and there I was.
Janna Holterman 07:49
Okay, so you got to the point where it just like all collapsed around you. Looking back, do you feel like there were warning signs that signs that you didn't notice at that point.
Kate Starr 08:04
Oh my God! Absolutely right. Probably my biggest warning sign should have been that I felt like I was a robot. Right? I I was so perfect at working a room. I actually didn't isolate or anything in stress. I socialized more because I hated being alone with myself. You know, I called myself a chameleon, and I could talk to a wall and get along with anyone. But it was so performance based, right?
Janna Holterman 08:31
Yeah.
Kate Starr 08:31
In addition to that, I mean, drinking wine down regularly. Yeah. You know, working out to these extreme degrees, waking up. I was even coaching Pilates on the side at the time. So waking up at like 435, a.m. to get that and get my workout done. Go to work nonstop, right? Eating lunch at the desk and then going out to some some something, right? Just
Janna Holterman 08:56
on date.
Kate Starr 08:57
I mean, I feel like I didn't sleep for more than six hours for years, and there were a ton of there were a ton of signs that now I'm just like wow. But again, we aren't given the education around this stuff, and if anything, a lot of our protective mechanisms are actually celebrated in a society like we have here.
Janna Holterman 09:20
Yeah, I I think so many people can relate, including myself, with that like that like going through the motions of just being completely numb. And I think you you said it was like I thought I was happy, and I think maybe your situation would be similar, but I don't feel like I like truly knew what happiness was. Like, if you like asked me, I would be like, "Oh, you know, it's these successful things. But were you actually happy? Like, did you even know what that experience was truly like at that point?
Kate Starr 09:57
Absolutely, and I I speak so often to my clients that you know we're taught this idea of sit with your emotions, be with your emotions, and I have qualms about the word sit in general. Obviously, I come from a somatic background, but in addition to that, whenever I hear that, it's almost always in relation to the uncomfortable emotions, the ones that we're trying to avoid. Why are we not spending more time basking in true joy, in you know sense engagement, and I recognize after you know years of chronic stress that isn't always immediately accessible. But from a age, we're really not taught, especially as women, to be selfish in our pleasure, to be selfish in our enjoyment of our lives, and instead to give and give and give to others and mark our happiness by our success. Absolutely. Okay,
Janna Holterman 10:44
I love that you kind of mentioned all of those things because I 100% agree. Love it. So there's so many people who are at that point where maybe they're like, "Shit, maybe I don't know how to be happy. Like, what? Yes. Maybe I don't know how to like process. I don't like. I'm just stuck in this. Like, there's a problem. I don't know really what to do. Like, where, what next?
Kate Starr 11:13
Totally, absolutely. And you know, I think it's one of those horrible situations where the further we push into it, the more we normalize it, and the more we normalize it, and on top of that, the the physical symptoms that we get as a result of not prioritizing ourselves and taking care of our happiness, right, and genuine embodied happiness, not for that, or not the belief that we should feel happy about other things, right? And we just end up digging ourselves further and further into this hole. And you know that was an important thing for me to recognize the impact not only of my conditioning but of societal expectations, because I really got into a place of a lot of shame around where I was. I thought I'm just such a negative person. I'm broken. I'm just like, you know, riddled with these experiences and traumas. I'll never feel like other people. And it sounds like a pity party, but really, what it was was this feeling that I had failed because I hadn't achieved the happiness I should have. I got all the things, and I didn't feel any better for it. Right, and so the more that I think we can recognize that this becomes almost a self-fulfilling prophecy over time,
Speaker 1 12:34
yeah, the
Kate Starr 12:35
more we can apply compassion and take some of the burden off of ourselves. Like this is our fault. We are so bad for ending up in a state of burnout or stressor. In my case, like total shutdown.
Janna Holterman 12:48
Yeah, I think it's something also to be said for the fact that like we are literally performing in the way that we've been conditioned. Like this is the way we were taught how to work, how to function, how to be an upstanding societal citizen, right? Like this is like we think that something's gone wrong, and it's like no, no, no. This was exactly the way that you were designed to be intentionally conditioned, right? And so, amazing thing about our brains is we have neuroplasticity, which means we can change that, but pretty much like in our societies, like unfortunately, you're in like the autopilot, right? And for myself, it also started to be like, okay, well, well, why do I want that thing? Like, okay, I've created you know this career, and now I've gotten to like the top of that like job, what whatnot, like, but but why? Like, am I actually doing what I want to do? Like, is this where I feel like I should be, or where I actually want to be? So, for you, like, what happened after being bedridden? Like, did you have like an identity crisis? Like, where were we at at that point?
Kate Starr 14:02
Yeah, you know, to be honest, at that point it really was life or death, right? I mean, my symptoms had caught up to me to the point where I just I didn't even feel like I knew how to get on to the next day, let alone the rest of my life, right? So, you know, there's a part of me that wishes every one of my clients could take a year-long medical leave, and a part of me that is so grateful they are not in the place where they have to, right? But there is a benefit to essentially I lost everything, and my full-time job was healing. I didn't have any other options, and I'm an incredibly stubborn person, so it doesn't surprise me that that's my story. A lot of my platform is around you don't have to get to that point to work on it, but you know what I will say is absolutely there's a form of awakening, right? And I joke with my clients. We joked at one point about making shirts that said "Healed So Hard, I had an identity crisis. Because if you're truly doing nervous system healing in a way that is sustainable, that is root cause, that is permanent, then you cannot negate the beliefs that are creating your stress in the first place,
Kate Starr 15:16
and re or reconditioning or unlearning those beliefs.
Speaker 2 15:21
Yeah.
Kate Starr 15:22
Right. So. it doesn't mean everything in your life has to uproot and uphold, but certainly it would be incredibly rare if your life was perfectly aligned after the journey, considering you built it from misaligned priorities and and definitions in the first place, right?
Janna Holterman 15:42
100% You could definitely say that one again. Of like, and I, I think this is something also where people expect things to work so quickly, right? We are in the society of instantaneous results. You want information. It's at your fingertips. You need to buy something. It'll be here in you know a day. There's so much when it comes to our healing that we have to relearn that too. Of like things take time. Take is a process. How do you like keep up some motivation or momentum with that process of figuring out those limiting beliefs, doing the nervous system and the emotional processing work.
Kate Starr 16:31
Absolutely, you know my background in my master's is in behavior change theory, and I applied specifically to health programs, right? And this is really key because a lot of well-meaning practitioners, coaches, therapists, you know, doctors can give you everything you need in theory, but cannot give you the motivation to actually implement those things. And so it makes perfect sense. And I always say this to my clients: Why in the hell would you be motivated or even grateful to be here when you are in a survival state? Like you're you're completely depleted. So let's take that kind of you know feeling of shortcoming off a little bit because it would be weird if you were super motivated. And what I'll find is the ones who are are motivated because they're still checklisting. They're like, I'm gonna get an A plus in this program. Yes. The ones who are doing it like perfectly, I'm like, you have to stop. And the ones who aren't doing it at all, I'm like, all right, how are we gonna get you to start? Right. You really have to adapt to where someone is. So you know, you talked about neuroplasticity. I use a lot of neuroscience in my program and in my research. But one of the things that I found is it is incredibly challenging to even get the benefit of things like visualization, or you know, positive reinforcement, or even recognizing your progress enough to keep going. If you're a perfectionist, if your body right is still full blown activated,
Janna Holterman 18:09
so
Kate Starr 18:10
my my journey informed this because I tried to go the mind route first, and not only conscious mind and trying to willpower and think my way through it, and talk my way through it, but also subconscious mind, and that's something I use. I use subconscious modalities, but they were not accessible to me in that much of a survival state. So I have found the key is really starting with the body first, getting everything to downregulate a bit. Right, downregulation isn't always the goal, but certainly if somebody is in a high activation, that's kind of where we're typically starting. Though, if they're more towards a freeze, maybe it's bringing in some of that energy. Right, freeze is still activated, so you really have to tailor the approach to the stage that you're in, and then from there, once they actually start to remember what a little safety feels like in the body, what a little joy feels like in the body. Okay, then we can shift into some of the rewiring. And typically, this process alone is a motivator because they start to feel better in their bodies first, which goes a long way before trying to force practices that they can't even, you know, sit still for for more than two minutes, right?
Janna Holterman 19:27
Yes, so true. I love that you said that, and I totally agree. And I definitely learned this the hard way of trying to mind Jedi myself absolutely in whatever experiences I was experiencing, and recognizing that like it's not sustainable and it doesn't work, and then yeah, knowing about our brains and bodies, like it makes total sense when you're like, okay, if your nervous system is activated, so you're in some sort of fight flight situation, like your conscious brain, like your frontal cortex, is getting like 30 to 50% less blood flow, so it's literally impossible for you to like logically and critically think. And then we're over there trying to be like, okay, we're good, I'm safe, and you're like, your brain ain't even getting any of that information. It's going elsewhere.
Kate Starr 20:17
Totally. And how frustrating for us Type A high achievers when everything we've done up to this point is, you know, use our mind to figure it out, and we always have solutions. It is, I think, one of the the hardest, most rewarding, but challenging processes to recognize that what for a long time you felt was your intuition was actually your anxiety. That if you were in that survival state, you weren't. You were really beholden to the subconscious beliefs, and we all are, no matter what. But a subconscious belief that believes it's unsafe is even more intense than one that surfaces when we are feeling objectively safe and at peace.
Janna Holterman 21:03
Yes, oh, I totally agree, and that's definitely a lot of the stuff that when I teach intuition to people, they have to like learn. It's like, well, what's the difference between this emotion, this anxiety, like, or just like, oh, I actually have a gut knowing about something. So, how do we take the person who's a little like overactive, or the person who's a little underactive? Like, how do we start to, you know, actually get them working on something that is going to allow them to see that they're like moving the needle closer to where they actually want to be?
Kate Starr 21:38
Yeah, absolutely. I pull a lot of my work from Dr. Judson Brewer, and he's a neuroscientist. I think he's a neuroscientist. He's definitely a psychiatrist, and he supports addiction recovery. And he's published a lot of his work now, actually around the concept of unwinding or unrewarding anxiety. Why I love his work is that it looks at all human beings as addicts. Essentially, he says we are all addicted to these mechanisms and reward systems and loops that tell us how we should respond and react to things, and these are especially severe when we're in a state of dysregulation. Right? What he prescribes essentially is yes, mindfulness, but even more deeply somatic awareness and curiosity. So somebody who is highly activated, somebody who is kind of hypo aroused, right? Both need to apply a level of curiosity to engage. in the practices, noticing what is this changing? How does it feel before I do this? How does it feel during? How does it feel after?
Janna Holterman 22:51
Yeah,
Kate Starr 22:52
and looking for I always say ideally the benefits, right? But if nothing else, neutrality, because when we are in a survival state, we are so fixated on pain, which can be physical but also emotional discomfort, right? And so, to even just notice that your mind took a break from feeling so sad, or it even you know got a little less sad, even if it feels like it's still not where you want to be, is what's going to actually build deeper trenches in that neural pathway towards oh these practices are actually something I want to prioritize over the doom scrolling or the you know bed rotting or the you know you know whatever else we use to get ourselves out of a bad mood.
Janna Holterman 23:41
Yes. Okay. So I think this is so good because it like our brains love evidence. So if you're like getting on that, oh, I can actually see that this is making a difference or making me feel better. Our likelihood to want to do it is so much higher, right? It is. It is like sometimes it is not always to like an extreme of a dopamine hit, but it is that like we need to see that we're making a difference or like change is happening. All those kinds of things is so important for our brains. So you have that person who's like, okay, there, no, there's a problem. We're now kind of starting to be like, okay, like I'm playing around with things. Like, is this working? Is this not working? What next?
Kate Starr 24:21
Yeah, you know, the biggest thing in the is it working? Is it not working thing, right? Obviously, we want to symptom trap. We want to understand where things are moving. We want to see what's working and how and why, right? And and adaptation is so key. So I always say, be relentlessly selfish in the beginning, don't do anything you don't want to do, right? Because often those things that we don't want to do, we feel we should simply because somebody told us it would help, like meditation, like sitting in those feelings, right? And we're neglecting our gut feeling that hey, this isn't working for me, and for me, it was actually a lot of the the things I was recommended were making me feel worse. Reactivating things, talking it through was awful. I could just, I couldn't talk about my like sad, depressing fast anymore. You know, I was going crazy, and so it's it's a longer process of adaptation. Certainly for somebody who's more hypo aroused in a freeze state because first you even need to kind of bring them back online to feeling, and then they're going to feel a lot that they suppressed to go into that freeze, right? And then you got to work through that, right? What I always say is we are not looking for perfection on the other side of integrating some of these practices. We are just looking for regulated enough to be able to go into deeper work,
Speaker 1 25:47
yeah,
Kate Starr 25:48
and get the benefit of it, and not freak out, and not be like, why am I doing a 45 minute practice or a 30-minute practice? It's too much, right? Really, what I'm looking for in that kind of initial phase of you know different techniques and things have to be shorter by design and things you know you're plug and playing a little bit is can you get into a subconscious state for a couple minutes you don't have to get into it for an hour but can your body feel safe enough to let you get a little dreamy so that you can actually get the benefit of subconscious reprogramming.
Janna Holterman 26:22
From there,
Kate Starr 26:23
that is my signature technique: soma neuroalignment, which is marrying somatic sequencing to bring the body to safety with subconscious rewiring and somatic hypnosis. So, the idea being get the body to be willing to let go, let the conscious mind come offline a bit, and then move into the practices that you know you and I would probably both love, like visualizations and sensation-based experiences and things like that.
Janna Holterman 26:54
Okay, love it. So getting people into this, I think it's important. Also, with the high achievers, a lot of people are so self-critical, and also in that like people pleasing energy of like I got to do everything for everyone else. I don't have time. Like, what do we do with them? Yeah, how do we meet them where they're at?
Kate Starr 27:15
Yeah, absolutely. And I will say this is where I think one-on-one coaching is so important and why it's it's in all of my programs, even if there's also group facilitation, because sometimes we just need that person who can hear specifically what's coming up for us and help us work around it, right? But as a general rule of thumb, to a degree, you gotta let people feel frustrated that they're not doing it perfect. Like if we go and say no, you should feel good about what you just did, and don't worry that it wasn't perfect. Then we're just the shitty positive affirmations that they yell at themselves in the mirror and cringe at every day, and we actually become a danger in a way because their subconscious is like that is incorrect. Like you are pushing back against my identity, so there is a degree to yes promoting curiosity, but really as a mechanism for them to on their own come out of the lack of compassion and pressure. It's really not my job as a coach to tell somebody, "Don't worry, actually, it is fine, because they don't believe it's fine. So, like, who am I, right? I
Janna Holterman 28:30
have a decade worth of evidence to say otherwise. So,
Kate Starr 28:33
right. So it's you know, it's it's a it's a delicate process. But what I've seen it in as a practitioner, the most important thing we touched on this that I can do is show up in playfulness and joy, in a little laughter, in a little recognition that this shit is dark and it is heavy, and we are not happy to be here. I always say nobody's happy to be here, nobody's thrilled. You might be happy that you found this program, but like you're not stoked that you're going through this, right? So let's just be real. Let's just be real about where we're at. No toxic positivity. No forced perfection. And if you want to check a box on a list for the first month of your program, month and a half, because it makes you feel good, do it. Do what feels right For you,
Janna Holterman 29:21
okay,
Kate Starr 29:22
and I organically, you know, they always they come around. They trust you know their system trusts us, and so they're like, okay, now tell me what to do, right?
Janna Holterman 29:32
Yeah, 100% I I think sometimes we have to like play games with ourselves, like to get on board with something, and then sometimes we do have to have like that real conversation. We need that friend who's like brutally honest to be like, okay, yeah, maybe I, you know, maybe I have been looking at this in a weird way that's not necessarily beneficial. But I, I totally agree. Like, we're all a little stubborn, right? Like, we haven't gotten to where we are without being a little bit stubborn, and sometimes it is just like that willingness to like maybe there is a different way, maybe there is a new process. So tell me a little bit more about that framework that you specifically created.
Kate Starr 30:14
Yeah, definitely. So soma neuro alignment is what I named it because it's a mix of you know somatic and neuro yeah neuro rewiring, but it was born out of my journey, which felt very piecemeal until I finally figured out how to put it together, and I think this is really key that a lot of these high achievers are trying to do all of it, but not actually putting it together in a system or process because that is very challenging, right? And that is something that I also struggled with. I was like, if I throw enough techniques at this, surely it will resolve. What I was missing was the power of combining techniques and approaches and adapting techniques and approaches. So when I created Soma Neuro Alignment, I wanted it to have a level of fluidity to it to meet the level of flexibility that we're trying to create in a resilient nervous system, and what that means to me is that it becomes this gorgeous, ever-changing practice where you truly can plug and play. If you love certain somatic sequences and practices, like you are a hips girl, like that is your your area. It feels great. You love it. You're rolling around on the floor. You can do whatever your body is calling towards, and then you know, then move into a subconscious modality, right?
Speaker 3 31:51
Love it. And
Kate Starr 31:52
so it meets the individual where they are. It also meets the state that they're in. So we do some anger work. We do activation work. We do specifically freeze practices, specifically fight flight, right? So you can really tailor it to the experience. I
Janna Holterman 32:08
love that. So it is truly like, like customized, not one size fits all. Like meeting people where they're at and where their nervous system is at, so they can have like tools and processes to like move through.
Kate Starr 32:24
Totally, but I would also say if somebody's listening to this and is like, "How do I create something similar for myself? Right? You know, finding a 1520 minute somatic practice you like, and let me remind you, soma just means that the body. So sometimes my somatic work, right, is dancing, is moving. I tell my clients all the time between work calls, I just get on the floor and roll around and just listen to what my body is craving, and that's the power of the somatic awareness, right? It doesn't have to be some fancy facial maneuvering like whatever. It can just be what is my body here twerking for, Right, exactly, and then once the body feels essentially disarmed, right? It's not well, not in a bad way, but it's just the threat response turns off, right? That you know you're objectively safe. Then try from there to do some type of practices that you're probably struggling with because clearing your mind just isn't an option right now, or trying to drop into some subconscious state like that is not an option right now. So just move, use movement, and integrate that with your subconscious modalities.
Janna Holterman 33:34
Yeah, I think that's huge, and it is also a like don't overthink it. Get in your body, right? Like so many people being like, "Well, well, am I moving correctly? Or like, doesn't matter. Like, it is literally about you connecting in with your body and just being like, "Oh, maybe it is like rolling out your hips or like I don't know, shaking to some your booty to some song. But it could be different every single time, and it doesn't have to be the same. And just like letting that happen,
Kate Starr 34:01
totally.
Janna Holterman 34:02
Okay, so I feel like we have like a good understanding of like you know how people could like open up their awareness, what they could kind of start with. What advice would you give to the person who is kind of like, all right, we're getting things going, we're starting like we're a little impatient, right? We're a little stubborn. What now? Like, are we there yet?
Kate Starr 34:28
Oh my God! It's like don't give up before the magic happens, right? It's what I see so commonly in this space is the second we start to have a semblance of feeling more like the way we desire, and I try and stay away from words like good, bad, positive, negative, right? But when we start to feel the impacts, the benefits that we're looking for, we're like cool, and then we stop, and we don't actually cement that shift. We're talking about years, decades of survival patterning, right? Like we we gotta do a little more than some temporary, you know, relief practices. I think along those lines, don't just do this stuff when you're stressed, like we were talking about. Don't make it essentially a a prescription for when you are stressed or upset. It's it's an opportunity to bask in all your emotions, and actually, what really retrains the nervous system is basking more in the safety, in the joy, especially for women with oxytocin as a very primary regulator, right? And know that the ups and downs, right, are actually what regulation means. Regulation does not mean a perfect state. It means flexibility. It means that you can feel it all without being overtaken by one emotional state, especially pain, right, and without going offline. I recently went through a pretty brutal breakup, right? And I'll talk about this just quickly to say it was a gorgeous demonstration to me, and I brought this into my work with my clients. Of regulated is my foundation. My nervous system is healed. But did I feel like horrible? Yeah. Did I ugly cry almost every day, absolutely. But that is regulation-being able to feel those feelings without trying to avoid force positivity or just run from them. And it was one of the most weirdly gorgeous, obviously challenging experiences I've had in a while. Because it was like cool, this shit really works, right?
Janna Holterman 36:43
I love that, and I'm really glad that you brought that up because I think it is so important. And I feel like again, this is like a societal thing where we're like, oh, you should have it all figured out, and unfortunately, that feels like you should be emotionless. We need to be that robot, like oh my goodness, and so recognizing that, yeah, like being in your regulated or like even like like I don't know I want to say like best but like really like when you are kind of like living your authentic life, part of that authentic life is something you know bad happening and you being mad, you being sad, like you working through it, and I I do kind of agree with like the concept like of emotions being like on like the full spectrum and like you can only go so high as you go low and it is kind of about balance and being able to experience all of life. I really think we're here to process emotions and learn what it's like to be human and that's part of it.
Kate Starr 37:38
Yeah, and I I think we're here to enjoy ourselves, right? And I think that's what you're talking about. Yeah, and one of the ways that I think often helps describe what we're talking about because that feels very intangible. I think to a lot of us who think I am one emotion, right? This is I am sad right now. I am happy. I am angry. Is you know when you start this journey, what you are really doing is regulating kind of vertically, meaning you're trying to be able to feel all the different emotions, but maybe just one at a time. As you progress in this work, what truly you know means being sustainably regulated is that now you're you're regulating on a lateral plane. So you're trying to be able to hold anger and sadness alongside gratitude and happiness and joy, because you're multifaceted. That you don't have to be one black and white experience of an emotional state, and you don't have to get swept up into just one expression of how you're feeling in that moment.
Janna Holterman 38:37
I love that. I think that like that was explained beautifully, and I do totally resonate with that. I feel like that is that is definitely what happens. So that's beautiful. Okay, so if there was any more like things where you're like, okay, if you walk away from this episode with nothing else, take this. What would that be?
Kate Starr 39:00
Yeah. Wow, that's a big question.
Janna Holterman 39:02
Yes,
Kate Starr 39:04
I would. Okay, I'll give practicality. I'll say in terms of a way to think about this stuff. Right, there really is no greater root cause approach than nervous system work. A lot of people will say, "Well, do I need that? Like, is that the direction I should go? But our nervous system is our central core programming. So even if it's integrated into your other work, even if you're doing you know hormone balance or you're doing naturopathic support, like regulation also needs to be at the core because so much will not move the needle if we're still in a state of constant stress and unsafety. Right? It is our core central programming, and like you and I were saying, it's essential to actually creating a life that doesn't stress you out all the time. You need clarity to be able to build a life you actually want. Practically, it's kind of what I touched on before, but I think the rise of nervous system healing and regulation, and it being this buzzword, right? Even though it is powerful practice, has created a a group claiming root cause and claiming nervous system work, but still catering to the quick fix right, still saying do this quick bilateral, you know whatever. And so I always try to say practically, I'm not going to be here being like just do this one stretch and you'll be resolved because that's entirely counter to my message. However, it has made it almost intimidating, like this idea that nervous system work is some big secret thing that you know you will never figure out on your own. And it is important, I think, to remind anyone here, especially the high achievers, if you're like, I want to do it perfect. I want to do it like the way it's the right way, right? I want to do it right. Is the easiest way to regulate and to actually create long term patterning and data is lived experience of fun and joy. Create a joyride. Burn some shit on fire. Go, you know, for a walk with your girlfriend. Go lie in a field and roll around, and you would be doing more than the people who are sitting there trying to butterfly tap and thinking about how much they hate it, right?
Janna Holterman 41:10
Yes. Get
Kate Starr 41:10
out there. So I think that's that's the biggest piece at the end of the day.
Janna Holterman 41:15
I love it. I think it's it is a very important message, and we need to kind of like let it sink in. It is it is the journey, not the destination, because it really it is a process. And I like I have learned and grown and healed so much, and yet it's still like every single day I get like a little bit better, a little bit better. Yeah, we're not there. It's all good. You're
Kate Starr 41:39
leveling up, right? Like you're there. You're not healing anymore. You're growing. You're having a human experience, and having
Janna Holterman 41:45
a human experience, and every yeah, every day,
Speaker 4 41:48
yeah.
Janna Holterman 41:49
New challenges, new things to overcome.
Kate Starr 41:51
Totally,
Janna Holterman 41:51
we're here for it.
Kate Starr 41:53
We're here for it. Absolutely. Okay,
Janna Holterman 41:55
so how do people find you?
Kate Starr 41:59
Yeah. So I have a couple different channels. Instagram's where I started. So Instagram is aligned with Kate. That's also our website. We have YouTube, which is cool if you do want some sequences. I have some sequences up there just so individuals can kind of like test them out. So that's great. And then that's we're primarily online, no brick and mortar. So I think that you'll probably share some links.
Janna Holterman 42:25
I will definitely share the links below. Okay, and where should people start? Like if they're like, oh, you know, I want to connect with her. I want to work with her. Like, where do you start them off?
Kate Starr 42:36
Absolutely. So I will send you this link also, so that you can include it, but I have a free training that is the the steps essentially that I took to heal my nervous system and permanently. And talking about the process, the system, right? I'm not going to say for five minutes a day do that. Like it's more about what did it look like? What's the structure? And it has helped so many women see. Oh, like this is either I was stopping before the magic happened, or I wasn't, you know, expanding my understanding of regulation far enough. So I would start there. And on that page, on that training, there's also an opportunity to book a consult call with my team if you are interested in working with us further from a coaching standpoint. My program nervous system reset.
Janna Holterman 43:23
Beautiful. Okay. Anything you want to share with the audience before we wrap up?
Kate Starr 43:29
Just like be, if you're listening to this, like you're already so much further than you think. I know it feels so overwhelming, but even by discovering the idea, like we're talking about conditioning and undoing layers of the subconscious. Like if you're there and you're listening and you're hearing it, you are further than 99% of the world involved situation. So like talk about giving yourself a break. Like my God, most people will stay asleep for the rest of their lives and stay in these symptoms for the rest of their lives. So just a celebration, right? Of like, okay, hell yeah, you're already ahead. Love it,
Janna Holterman 44:07
love it. Oh my goodness, this has been an amazing conversation. Thank you so much for sharing all of these like gold nuggets and bits of wisdom, and just yeah, good reminders for us to give ourselves credit for all of our hard work.
Kate Starr 44:21
Love it. Thank you so much for having me and for your dialog, sharing more about your experience, and it was so great to chat.
Janna Holterman 44:28
Absolutely, thank you. Okay.
Kate Starr 44:35
I never knew how to end those things. Sometimes I do call out like with my clients too, and I'm like, all right, talk. Okay,
Janna Holterman 44:41
bye. Yeah, you're like, all right. Anything else? No. Okay. All right. Cool.
Kate Starr 44:49
Awesome. Cool. Well, thank you so much for having me on your show. Absolutely.
Janna Holterman 44:53
That was a great conversation. Great. So it's gonna be now. You're squeaking.
Kate Starr 45:01
Oh. Oh. oh my gosh! I'm gonna get a dog soon.
Speaker 5 45:06
It's a good
Kate Starr 45:06
breakup thing to do. You know what I mean?
Janna Holterman 45:08
Yeah, I mean honestly, he's definitely like a soul dog, and like he's been through it with me, and I am so grateful for him. But also, when I was like single, it was difficult having the dog on my own. Like just like with like organizing things and getting, you know, but 100% worth it. Although, definitely, your pet will be like such a big reflector to you of all the things of all your like imbalances. I'm like, oh, yep, everything
Kate Starr 45:36
always is. Once you've broken through a certain understanding, everything's a fucking mirror, and you're great. I can't breathe.
Janna Holterman 45:42
100% it is. I'm just like, oh my goodness, there it is. Yes, I am trying to protect myself in this avenue, and he's like, okay, all right, but yes. So, what I'll do is it'll probably be next week. I will just send you like a Google Drive with like the video and audio and the text, any of that. So you're welcome to do whatever you wish to do with it. But yeah, so normally I will do like a social media post. I will put it on YouTube and obviously all the platforms, and then I normally send like an email out to my audience with the podcast episodes. Yeah,
Kate Starr 46:21
perfect. And so, just so you know, next I think I told you this, but from the 18th through the 26th or something, I'm I'm in Wyoming, but I'm not like off off. Like I'll be available. Just let me know when you're thinking about posting it, because my my team on my Instagram can like accept it. Sometimes they're like, should we accept this? Is this a random? You know, so I'll just tell them this
Janna Holterman 46:42
random stranger trying to.
Kate Starr 46:43
Yeah, we've had it happen before. So you just let me know, and then I will also once I get the stuff from you when I'm back put together like a little thing, just so we can share equally.
Janna Holterman 46:53
I love it. Appreciate it. Yeah, yeah. Let me know if you have any other questions. Otherwise, happy to stay connected and continue to support one another.
Kate Starr 47:02
Absolutely. Absolutely. And I will talk to you soon. And good luck with your fridge. You got it.
Janna Holterman 47:07
Thank you. It should be all set up now, so we'll go check.
Kate Starr 47:12
I love it. You're walking into something that's actually a good a good thing. Yes. That's great. Thank you. I will talk to you soon.
Janna Holterman 47:19
Okay. Okay. Bye.
Unknown Speaker 47:20
Bye
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
